november 21st, 2025 01:44pm
Feeling unlikable, lonely. How does one balance the art of not caring and recognizing unnecessary cruelness without that knowledge impeding on one's ability to be kind? I miss being a desperate teen and having so much joy and happiness to share, although it was mostly covered by a thick fog of shyness and insecurity. There was hope there, and now it has gone. I'm far too jaded these days, it eats away at my soul. I just want to talk to people. I need to get out of Sweden, this self-aggrandizing, conformist and soulless hellhole. Nothing happens here, nobody exchanges glances of mutual understanding; only hatred and prejudice. I need to go where my soul can be free and life can finally begin. 23 years of running on a continuous hamster wheel.
november 7th, 2025 11:13pm
It's my birthday month. I've been unwillingly absorbed into a clique consisting of three girls from my seminar group. I'm slowly distancing myself from their madness, or should I say from 'her' madness, since it's only really the de facto leader of the group who is unbearable. Really strange girl. I'd rather be alone than be abused by this psycho. I wish my fantasy of university being a place of like-minded people were a reality. Sadly it's not. No one to talk to, and somehow I just don't care anymore.
april 24th, 2025 10:16pm
Purged my diary once again. Is it possible to read old writings and not want to vomit? Not for me at least. I just find myself so incredibly embarassing and dull.